Being ghosted stirs up a lot of sensitive emotions, including fear of rejection and feelings of being ignored. It can also create trust issues that may affect future relationships.
People who ghost often do so out of a desire to avoid conflict or because they struggle with emotional self-regulation. However, this doesn’t excuse their behaviour.
1. Do not take it personally
Ghosting stirs up a lot of sensitive emotions and can hit very hard at your sense of self-worth, especially when you don’t receive an explanation or closure. It can also leave you wondering if there’s something going on that you’re unaware of.
If someone chooses to ghost you, it likely says more about them than it does about you. If they don’t have the ability to be open and honest with you about their feelings, needs, or boundaries, it may indicate that they lack the maturity to engage in a healthy relationship.
Instead of trying to figure out why they ghosted you, take the time to work on your own communication skills so that you can be prepared for future relationships. Remember, avoiding conflict by ghosting will only cause more pain for you in the long run. It will also make it harder to trust others in the future. A better solution is to have a direct conversation with the person and provide them with the closure they need.
2. Reframe the situation
As a victim of ghosting, it is tempting to fall into self-blame and speculate about why your ex decided to ditch you. But this is a waste of your time and energy. In reality, their decision to ghost you had nothing to do with you and everything to do with them and their lack of emotional maturity.
Ghosting is a cowardly and selfish way to end a relationship, and it’s harmful for both parties. It leaves the person being ghosted with difficult feelings and no closure, while enabling the ghoster to avoid confronting their fears of intimacy.
It’s also important to remember that ghosting stirs up a lot of sensitive emotions, including fear of rejection and doubts about your own worth. It’s not easy to retrain your mind to think positively about this situation, but it will help you move forward and build healthy relationships in the future. In fact, retraining your brain to think positively about this situation can actually make it easier for you to handle the pain of being ghosted.
3. Take care of yourself
With the rise of technology, it has become easier than ever to communicate with people. But with that ease comes the possibility for bad behavior like ghosting. People who ghost others tend to avoid difficult situations or conversations for a variety of reasons. Ghosting is often a form of emotional cruelty, according to multiple studies.
Regardless of their motives, the fact remains that the person has violated your trust and respect by cutting off communication. They also demonstrated that they cannot maintain healthy boundaries and express their emotions effectively.
Ultimately, it is best to focus on your own well-being and not seek closure from this person. Instead, try to reframe your thoughts and behaviors about them and their communication skills. This will help you to reduce the power they have over your narrative and future relationships. Using mindfulness and self-compassion techniques can be particularly helpful in healing from this experience. You deserve better!
4. Move on
It’s best to move on from someone who ghosted you. They have demonstrated that they don’t know how to communicate in a healthy way, and trying to contact them for closure or insulting them will only make the situation worse.
It is also important to remember that ghosting says more about the person doing it than it does about you. The person may have commitment issues or a fear of conflict. They might have a mental health condition like anxiety or depression that makes it difficult for them to express their feelings in a healthy way.
Learning to deal with the difficult emotions that come with being ghosted can help you avoid the situation in future relationships. However, if you need extra support in moving on from an unresolved relationship, BetterHelp can match you with a licensed therapist within 48 hours and offer an exclusive 20% discount on your first month. Simply fill out a short questionnaire to get started.